I feel as if losing your mind is something you have to do to
find yourself. I don’t know how many times a day I lose myself, I lose what I
truly want, I lose what I think life should be. But every time it comes back to
me it hits me harder than ever, and every time it happens I grow a little more.
I may be lost but I know as far gone as I go, the more my mind learns, the more
I open my eyes to knew things and see what can truly become of the person I am.
Life is so obscured by materialistic views and negative thoughts. I like being
lost, lost in my own mind because it allows myself to find what I truly want in
life. I strive everyday to become a better person. Some days I am better than
others, I admit, and some days I am nowhere near the person I want to be. But
each day is a new set of hours. A new
set of thoughts. And a new sun to shine in a different way, if you so wish it
to. I cannot tell you what I want because my mind wanders everyday. I come upon
crazy realizations, and things that intrigue me, and then the next day there is
something new. It is ok to be curious. Indulge in everything and anything you
desire, because how else will you know if you like it or not. I think to myself
everyday about how I want to be successful in my life, but having this thought
in my mind means nothing, unless within myself I do not define what success
means to me. Sometimes it means helping millions of people and traveling on my
own, learning and loving the world with open eyes; being a wanderer. Other days
it is to achieve a steady job with a wonderful family. Neither is wrong, and neither is right. So what does that mean to me? I don’t know
yet, and I am okay with saying that. I am ok with saying that I do not have the
answer to my own happiness yet. I want to learn what the answer is. Everyone
can can learn what their answer is. I believe that as long as the skin you live
in is none other than filled with your positivity and compassion to others and
the world, the happiness possibilities are unlimited. Being lost can lead to
being found. Being found can lead to knowing what your success means, and
knowing your success allows a goal for you to strive for. Don’t be scared to be
lost because when you reach this goal, you have traveled along a path that only
you desired to roam, only you wanted to search, and explore, creating endless
possibilities of happiness.
Am I scared of not being happy? No. No because it isn’t something
that is unattainable. It is something you make on your own. There are plenty of
days where I would love to pull a pitty party and say that my life sucks,
everything is going wrong, school is horrible, I’m far from my friends, my
family is dysfunctional, blah, blah. I can sit there and think these thoughts,
but the only thing that happens is that I become upset and depressed. Notice
how nothing around me was affected, I upset myself. Granted you may be the type
of person who is in a bad mood and this affects everyone around you in a
negative way, but do you really want to be that person? I don’t. When I think
these horrible things and get down on myself about everything possible. I stop.
I think. And I change. I change my mindset, I change everything about that day.
I dig deep in the sad thoughts and think of one good thing about every negative
thing I had thought of. I find one good thing to change how I feel. I hate to
be unhappy. I hate to affect people around me in a negative way. I am always
the one trying to make people laugh or doing something adventurous to keep the
spirits up. It makes me uncomfortable when people are angry. I think every
person has a million and ten reasons to be sad or upset, but I also think that
every person could find one wonderful thing, one thing that makes them the
happiest, and it could change everything. It’s just a matter of giving into you
sadness, accepting it, and getting over it. Because as the cliché goes, the
past is the past, so leave it in the past. You are in control of your future.
You are your own predestined events and everything you do from waking up in the
morning until the moment you go to sleep will affect your life one way or
another, so why not make it in a positive way. Why not do something that makes
someone else happy, just because. Why not be a better person simply because you
can. Why not choose to take the hard way because you know it’ll benefit you?
Ask yourself this, why not? Why not treat the grumpy neighbor with a friendly
hello and smile. Why not let the car in the next lane get over even though you
are in a rush? One good thing leads to positive reactions. I believe we create
positivity and as we give it off, it finds its way back to you again. We
attract things that we truly want. If we do things that will better not only
ourselves but the world around us, then we create a inner happiness that can
only lead to better decisions. I know this may sound like some crazy karma
religion cult idea, but it isn’t. It’s in my own experience that when I say
today will be a bad day, it is. If I say life sucks, it will. It’s simple. You
determine it. The human mind is a lot more powerful than we give it credit.
